A blogger....

I am a blogger...Yes, I am. I blog since secondary school but of course, not in English but Chinese. Why? Because my English is terrible, that's why. When I started to blog in English, I really took a long time to give my first step in English blogging. At first I felt suffering because I hardly can figure out the words that I would like to use to express my opinions and thoughts. What I did was open up a Chinese-English dictionary and find out the words I can't figure it out. The process took me long time although but at last I did manage to find out the words I want.

I thought to give up because I think it was so not me and it is much more tiring than blogging using Chinese words. But later on, I realized that my difficulty in searching proper and suitable English words has been reduced and I started manage to come up with the words I want to use in my posting. Again, I am a future English teacher, I believe all the efforts I put in today will help me improve and benefits me in the future. Besides, I found blogging in English is actually as fun as blogging in Chinese. It helps me to share all my happiness and sadness with the people around me. All my thoughts and opinions are clearly described in my blog and I actually feel much more relief and "stress-reduced" after sharing in blog.

As a conclusion, I will continue blogging, no matter in English or Chinese, because it helps me a lot in many way and yes, I love to be a blogger!! Come and join me my friends in the world of blogging! See you in the blogging world!

Simulated Teaching(again) versus Reality in School

Reality in school? What so "reality" that can be found in school? Put aside about reality in school, let me tell you guys that things I learned in my course. In my course, my simulated teaching has 4 steps, starts with set induction, which is to attract students attention and giving them idea of the following lesson, following by pre-reading, where teacher studies the text and students have their first simple exercise as warming up. Then comes to while-reading process where the activity are connected with pre-reading activity and students try to answer the questions according to the text. Lastly will be post reading where in this process the activities require student to express their opinions and thoughts toward the text. As you can see here the whole activity set for the students are in step-by-step order so that students and teachers as well understand what are needed to understand from the lesson. However, what I have been through in school is totally different with what I learned in university.

You see, during school time, what I learned is to repeatedly do and memorize the "format" or style of the exam papers. Other than that, most of the time teacher will only focus on the hot topics that might come out in the exam especially science subjects. I am not saying that my teachers taught me wrongly, I do appreciate what they taught me and I believe that there is no other choice for them as my school focus lot on academic result. Actually what I learned in my course about the 4 stages and everything is actually very useful for the students. Well, it might not useful if the purpose is to help students score, it is depend on what is the teacher main purpose, to help students score, or to learn. A lot of "not very important" syllabus are actually left out from the lesson in school, at last, although the grade the students get is high, but the knowledge they get is only average.

My vision now is hope that the 4 stage procedure can be applied on my teaching in future and in th esame time, my students score well in their tests too. I understand that there are many obstacles that I will face just as what my teacher faced before. The main reason would be the level of proficiency of the class, if their basic is poor, then the 4 stage procedure can not be applied as they will get more confuse and a lot of time will be wasted. I hope that one day there is an effective teaching way can be taught to the future teachers in university so that we as future teachers will not confuse and "lost" ourself of our direction and the purposes we teach.

Pray...

KLPAC...Where is that?

Ya, the first thing when my colleagues mentioned this KLPAC stuff to me is not what it is but where it is?? I heard about KLPAC, it means uala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre, obvious enough it is in Kuala Lumpur, but where? I don't think it is somewhere close with Timesquare or Sungei Wang shopping center(these are the 2places I always hanging around...) but fortunately, some of my colleagues know where it is and our plan having a journey to watch a play at KLPAC is ON!!!

I was so excited because of two reasons, one is this KLPAC sounds pro, I mean where a standard play should stage on a standard place, where I can professionally enjoy a play(haha). The second reason is this is the first time that we go out together for an activity in such huge number of people! Is really like a travelling programme to me! I like travelling with many people together! So at last we reached there and watched a play titled "The Secret Love Life of Ophelia”, directed by Christopher Ling and starred by Alfred Loh as Hamlet(this hamlet is really love story hamlet) and Sharon Lam as Ophelia.

Okay, I need to admit that the play was...not really attracted me comparing with the movies I watched in classrooms before. Not because of the surroundings but the story line is really little bit boring actually. But, at least I get the experience to really sit and enjoy a real play live infront my eyes. I get to know how the stage is looked like, what is the different between a live play and play in the movie I watched, that is no mistake or error is allowed in the live play, only perfection is allowed to because there are no rewind in live play. Since the price of the play is not that expensive too, so somehow the play is worth with the price actually.

Good job everyone, hopefully we got the second opportunity to watch a play together because I really enjoyed hanging around with you guys and learning together. Good job!

One more time in simulated teaching?

Chinese...erm...Asians maybe, like to ask question such as "if you are given a chance to.......will you do the same thing again?Or will you change it?Why and how?". I am a Chinese, and I did ask myself the similar question, not about other things, but about my simulated teaching I did previously. In fact, the main reason that caused me to question myself with such rhetorical question(is it?) is because I am both satisfy and unsatisfy with what I did in my simulated teaching! I am not fooling around with you guys, but is true, I did feel so. Satisfy because I got credits from Miss Kasthoori as well as from my colleagues, unsatisfy because I did dreadful error.

Like what I told in my previous post, my English speaking skill is terrible indeed. Therefore, when comes to the answer of the question above, my reply to the question is always yes. As long as I am not good enough, I will seek for another chance to improve myself and my way of teaching. Ofcourse, I will make sure myself by not repeating the same mistake and error because repeating them means that I wasted my time in revising myself as I did not improve myself after all. In future, there won't be any colleague there to reflect my way of teaching except than my students. If possible, I do not wish to see any bad reflections from them because if I am going to change that time it is too late and my students already lost their confident on me.

Hence, I hope that before I get the chance to really start teaching my students in future, I hope that I can wisely use every "second chance" that given to me in my courses as I hope the edition that my students get is the best edition I have in my way of teaching. With the helps from all my friends and colleagues, together come with their brilliant idea and truthful opinion, I believe, I can come out with the best edition for my future students. Please support me my friends...

Hamlet...revenge...revenge...and revenge...

Another Tuesday morning that I need to wake up at 8am to go for the movie watching session at 9am. It is not a problem for me, as I am actually enjoy the movie watching session actually. But I was wondering... What kind of movie is Hamlet about? I have no idea or previous knowledge about this movie, never ask my friends and colleagues about it as I would be rather to discover it myself and enjoy the surprises brought by the movie. Hamlet...Well, it sounds love to me, don't ask me why, it just, sounds so. I thought it was another Romeo and Juliet liked movie, but it is not! I was wrong, it is a story that totally different from Romeo and Juliet! I do not know which movie that I can use as an example to describe this movie, however, it seems nice to me!

A little bit sharing with you guys about the movie, you see, is a story about this Prince of Denmark, Hamlet(of course...) who wants to seek for his father's murder(for revenge of course, what else...). Tragically was, the murder is his uncle, Claudius(sounds heroic, but not) who then married his mother and be the King of Denmark. Now the story is interesting. You see, The story in the first place is made for revenge purposes. Why? The more "sins", or crimes that mdae by Claudius, the more that he will pay, is imaginable right? But what kind of "pay" will this Claudius receive later? I was so desperately to find out at that moment. Alright, continue with the story, so Hamlet wants to revenge about his father's death of course but everyone thinks that he is crazy. After Claudius knew what is Hamlet's intention, he tries to poison Hamlet. But things turn out tragically again of course, and the result is the queen, is the one who got poisoned accidentally. Following by that, the truth was completely revealed. So Hamlet also faces the death because he has been cut by a sword that poisoned too.Before he dead, he kills Claudius using the same sword, and pours the poisoned drink right into Claudius's mouth. At the end of the movie, all of them die(wow...tragic enough).

I imagined that people will die, of course, it is predictable, but I did not manage to predict the actual outcomes- every important character sacrificed and died in at last. Sadness came in my heart of course, but that is usually the normal "pay" when you seek for revenge that concerns human life. Agree? If you are going to take someone's life for revenge, prepare to put your life as a bet as people will defend themselves by taking your life away as well. Maybe most of you will say, why don't he just let go? If he don't seek for revenge, all of this tragedy would not happen. But put yourself in his shoe(trying to be metaphorical...), someone kills your dad and marry your mum and the worst is he is your uncle! You will probably saying "what the @#$%"! See! Is somehow reasonable! What you expect Hamlet to do? Log on to the police(if there was any in that time) ? Put on a trial on THE KING? You think it will success? Nah... So, better revenge by your own way... I don't know, maybe you guys will think that I am too radical or pessimist or whatever the word used, but I am telling exactly what I think in my life. How far do you guys agree with me? Hmm?

Lear Lear...Pay for your act my lord...

King Lear, another text that we are compulsory need to study in our course. How would I say about Lear? Same with Oedipus? Fate determined his life? no, I don't think so. It was his foolishness I would say that determine his life. King Lear, and Oedipus, are definitely not the same, not at all, at least for me. He should pay for the mistake he did in his life. I am not saying that dividing his kingdom to his daughter is wrong, but think wisely, how can he never think for himself first? At least, he can choose to divide his kingdom to four actually, for every one if his daughters and of course for himself too! The reason he did not divide his kingdom to Cordelia was because he thought that she did not love him, why he thought so? Because Cordelia gave him a somehow so called "unpleasant" reply to his foolish question.

How Cordelia treat him before can't he even realize? If Cordelia was really "not so" love him, she may over throne or left him earlier in the play. The answer given by Cordelia had so much meaning but he could not figure it out and some more misinterpret it. What can I say? You pay for your foolishness my lord. I can't really blame for the other two daughters Regan and Goneril for being greedy, that is human nature, in fact, in the society nowadays, they are called as smart, not greedy, they will be described as "so smart they are". You are a king, Lear, you should be wise, no, you had to be wise, then only you will be able to protect your kingdom. You see my lord, what your daughters did to you is a proof, to show that you are not really a capable king.

My friends there, reading my post, you might disagree with me, you might saying that as a father of course he will trust his own daughters, who else could he trust except than his own family. Yes, is a must, that a father should trust his daughters , but as a king a.k.a a father? What he responsible for was not only for his daughters, but for his people as well. He wanted to trust his daughters? Can, after they had prove they really love their father, by action, then only is the time for him to trust them. Not just by some flattering answer only of course!

However Lear, you are lucky that not all 3 of your daughters are "smart", there are someone who still willing to love you as her father, not love you as her king. For the other two daughters, too smart they are turned them into a foolish like you in the end. As a conclusion for my post, still the same I told my friends always, you act according to your intelligence, you pay for your act as well. Intelligence is only a tool to help you get a discount on what you had to pay. Agree?

Blind...With Knowledge??

If there is an option, for you my friends, to choose whether to be physically blind for the rest of your with the exchange of granting you the knowledge of universe, will you accept the offer? The knowledge of the universe including the knowledge of past, present and even future, getting more interesting with the offer? Of course I do not have the power to grant you all any offer, but just drop by here to share a very interesting character with you guys.

As you can see what I have mentioned above, this interesting character that I would like to share with you guys is a famous character in Oedipus Rex(the play I am studying now), Tereisias. Sounds magnificent right? This guy was a blind man, indeed, he is a blind Greek prophet. Yup, he knew everything including the past, present and future. Of course his blindness is not "offered" by God, he is actually blinded by Athena because he saw her bathing. However, she cleans his ears, giving him the gift of augury. Later, he was also turn into a woman for hitting a pair of copulating snakes. For seven years, ‘he’ lived a woman live. But after some occasion ‘he’ regain his masculinity. Unbelievable? Believe it( at least believe it did happen in the book alright?). But the main thing I would like to share, is not how many unbelievable events he went through, but how much important he is in affecting Oedipus life.

Maybe many people wouldn't agree that Oedipus life is affected by Tereisias, but his arrogant actually. Well, I don't think so. I still think that if it is not because of Tereisias, showing up himself(he showed up himself after a few times called up by Oedipus, he can actually continue staying away from the king but yet, he still showed up) and told Oedipus that Oedipus himself is the one who responsible with King Laios dead, I think Oedipus can continue be the ruler of Thebes and everyone stayed in their happy lifes. No? You don't think so? You think the truth is important? Yes, although is Oedipus himself determined to find out the murderer of King Laios as to save Thebes from "disaster", but all the decisions are up to themselves! In fact, I am very sure that Tireisias knew that it was King Laois who wanted to kill Oedipus at the first place, so what so wrong if Oedipus killed King Laois later? I mean, it is fair and square, for me at least.

You mean I am saying Tireisias was a busy body? Yes, he was. Infact, I think that, if someone really does gained the knowledge of wisdom, knowledge of the universe, past, present and future, it is a gift for him to save himself and make life more simple! Not like what he did in the book, messed up everyone life and just, walked away. He knows everything, why did't he keep himself away and determined not to see the king no matter how? To save everything? But what did he caused is a man lose everything that should belongs to him! Oedipus lost his wife, his mother as well, his children, his siblings as well, his country and his power, it was not his fault actually. Who would like to born to be prophesied that will kill his own father? Tereisias, why? Why? You know everything? Why if you want to save the situation why don't you save it earlier? Why? I don't see a point there wise prophet...

Back to the book, Oedipus....Wow...

The reason I put "wow" above is... It really "wow" me after I finished reading the whole text. Why? How come there is such an unbelievable tragedy plot happened?!! Sophocles, you are the man... Can you believe it? Oedipus Rex, one word for me to describe him, pity. I mean, what has he done in his previous life until God(well, I mean Sophocles), having such a big joke with him? The fate he had, is really pathetic. I do not know whether to agree that God is giving him mercy or the opposite.

You see, he escaped the fate of being killed by his father, King Laios, because of the stupid prophecy(yes, stupid I will say), but yet he has to go through all the painful incidents in his life. Escaped from death and raised as a prince by another king, you may say he is a very lucky man, but how about killing his real father after he grown up? Is he still lucky enough? Well, eventually he did not know who he has killed, moreover, he became the king of the country that the person he killed! Let us not confuse here, what I am trying to say that, Oedipus actually, returned to his homeland, and heritaged his father's land. Wow...Right? Lucky?Good for him? What would you said? I would say wow! The fate "tried" so hard to bring him away just to turn around a big circle and back to the starting point again. You get what I mean?

The prophecy already mentioned that he will kill his father, but yet, he managed to escape from it and now, he back to what the prophecy has mentioned again. They(fate, luck) just won't let him go that easily! The worse thing is, he slept with his mother and the worst thing now is, he had children with his mother. Man! I mean, this children, what are their relation with Oedipus? Father and daughters? Or Brother and sisters??!! How come such ridiculous(I considered as) thing happened and why there is a genius man managed to write it out into a play! Sophocles! I am speechless now... I am really impressed with the plot, and tried hardly to understand Oedipus feelings when the truth is all revealed. Ouch! That was what I felt, and probably I will keep swearing to the sky, try to say "it's not my fault!"(if i can...)

Lastly, to Oedipus Rex, bravo! This play, is fantastic! To Sophocles,...... Sorry, I can't even figure out a word to describe what I wanted to say.

The time we had our first drama watching session...in class!

Well, it is clear from the title, on 24th of March, we had our very first time to watch a movie together. Yes, although we attend classes and lessons together always, but watching drama; in a dark and relaxing room; air-conditioned of course; without lecturer supervising us; this is great!! Totally enjoying! Well, the best part of without lecturer in our class, we can fully "throw out" our emotions and reflections toward the movie! Putting away those foul words (just a few, don't mind about it), we can scream (not very loud), gasp and put all out attentions in the movie, this is awesome actually!

The even more best part is the movie itself, this very first movie that we watched was entitled “Elizabeth: The Golden Age”. It is a 2007 film, directed by Shekhar Kapur, starred by Cate Blanchett, Clive Owen, Geoffrey Rush and others as well. The story is mainly about life of Queen Elizabeth I, starred by Cate Blanchett, who had to face obstacles and challenges such as the Spanish Armada, her unfulfilled love and also plot of her cousin, Mary, Queen of Scots starred by Samantha Morton, who plan to steal her throne. I had to admit that I am actually more attracted by the costumes used in the movie rather than the plot of the movie itself. Is not that the plot is dull, but I find the costumes used actually made a very good "combo" with the plot! Queen Elizabeth I identity in the movie is very strongly shown, both physically and mentally. I must praise Cate Blanchett as she really showed what a queen should behave and the feeling she gave me, is not Cate herself, but the queen of England.

All the time I thought costume is a minor part in a movie and also a play because the most important is the plot and the backdrop of the movie, but this movie, made me realised that I was wrong about it. If a queen, or a knight's costume, is not look like what it has to be, the movie is actually spoilt as well. At last, what I want to say is, this movie, "moved" me. (like what Paula always said in American Idol) Cheers my friends~ Looking forward to the next movie...

Response...

After the simulated teaching, Miss Kasthoori and some of my friends gave me some suggestion to improve on my weaknesses in simulated teaching. The comment that Miss Kasthoori gave me was although I got the idea and creativity in teaching, but the extract I have choosen is rather too long and it will somehow "kill" students' interests. But then the biggest problem in my simulated teaching that my friends and collegues commented is not the length of the extract, but is my English speaking skills proficiency.

My biggest weakness is the first language influence in my speaking. I received Chinese education since I was small, and I rarely communicate using English with my friends outside from the classrooms, plus, I am lazy to read on English materials such as novels and newspapers, that is way my English proficiency level has never improve. For example when I was in simulated teaching speaking English, my sentences and utterances usually end by "lo", "ar" and many more. My chinese accent is also one of the main problem that cause my pronunciation in English inaccurate.

Therefore, they suggest that I really should start change the language I speak everyday to English and start involving English reading materials in my daily life. Yes, although Chinese is my mother toungue and it is important to remind me what race I am but yet, I am going to be a future English teacher, whether I like it or not, I had to and is a must for me to improve my level of proficiency in English language speaking skills. Not because I had to pass or score in this paper, and not about pride of being a UPM TESL student or future English teacher, but is the responsibility to teach and educate the future students. They remind me that the key word should come to my mind first and always, is not the word "English", but the word "teacher". I am going to bear the responsibility to educate the younger generations and not only the parents, the students count on me. Maybe it sounds too over noble to you all, but I really do feel so. Now, I am still a student, I gain knowledge from my lecturers and they are my role models, and students in future will take me as their role model, if I am not enough capability to teach them even, they will not only lose their confident in me, but in their studies as well. The responsibility I am going to deal with, is their future, I hope all my students will get a better life and be a better person in future, that is why, I need to work hard now. My success in future, will not be lying on how much salary I got paid, but how much students improved through my "hands". I hope I am still not too late for improving myself, I need your support, my friends...Thank you...

Simulated teaching...Here we go again!

Argh...Is time for the simulated teaching practice again, is not that I hate simulated teaching, but I afraid that I can't do my best in this. I am not a perfectionist, but I really do hope I can come out something that might attract the students! Well, although the students are all my friends and colleagues, but trust me, if you manage to attract their attention, you will be able to attract what ever type of students are! Hahaha...It might sounds funny, but it is true. They are actually too sincere enough as if your lesson is not interesting enough, sorry my friend, the class will turn into a market.

I been a student before, a quite "passionate" student. I demand for interesting lesson for every lesson I attended in school last time. If it is not, sorry teacher, I won't waste my time on the lesson, I will just do something else. I do not want the samething to happen again to the students I am going to teach in future! Therefore to make my teaching lesson interesting, I even call up my brother to ask what kind of lesson he will interesting with in class. Guess what he told me? He said: " Who cares? All of us when get boring, take out the handphone and watch funny youtube movie." And that gave me an idea as well. So I downloaded a Thailand advertisement, about a tragedy happened to two lizards, as I was doing on Oedipus Rex (wow, tragedy...), and then set up some exercises, finally end my simulated teaching lesson with a movie clip. And the result was...they liked it!And so do Miss Kastoori! Thank God, thanks to all of you too. Thank to my brother of course, his idea reminded me that, the generation has changed, so do the way or teaching, we as future teachers, must learn to teach in a new and effective way so that the students can adapt with it. The purpose of we teach, is to share our knowledge and the purpose they learn, is to gain knowledge, to achieve the goal, we must move forward together with the students, with the generation, and with the world. Am I right?

My very first and the following drama tutorial lessons!!!!

So,it was finally Friday and I would be going for my very first drama tutorial lesson. Well you see, tutorial and class are actually different as tutorial for me is more practical, and class is actually more about facts and theory. I was wondering how would the tutorial class be? Tension? Strict? Sleepy? You see, all the negative words popped out to my mind at that moment, why? I don't know, probably is the tutorial takes 3hours per session! I'm a person that hardly concentrate for just 1 hour in class, and I really do not know how to concentrate in a 3 hours lesson?! But things turned out differently after I went through the lesson! Miss Kastoori, appears to be my tutor for the lesson and I find that, she is nice actually! The best thing is she managed to keep me away from sleepy in class! The first task she gave us was to act! Yes, acting! There are different characters for us to act such as strangers, lovers and so on and I find myself love in acting, I do not know why but I enjoy myself when acting as someone that is not me. I find it is very fun and full with expectations when acting as another person because things that will happen to my life will not be the same!

The next class we were asked to act again! I was so excited because I can't wait for the next character I will acting for. I am so "obsessed" to put myself in another person shoes and even try to think what the character will think and even feel when they facing different problems! I guess drama is not bad at all! Especially when I need to act a character I absolutely don't have any idea of, I feel more challenging and will try very hard to make the character "alive". That's all for here, hopefully I got to act as a humble and serious person next time, because I am not in the real life!! Cheers my friends~